In Couples Therapy, It’s Okay to Need Your Partner

Success in couples therapy requires vulnerability. And that can be easier said than done! Especially when it comes to your closest relationship; your partner. Add in the fact that you might feel pressure to be independent and avoid relying on others for support, and you have a recipe for struggle and frustration.

But, is it really so bad for you to rely on your partner primarily for social support? What is so bad about connection? Today, you will read about connecting with your partner and why attachment is so important in your relationship. Then, you will learn how couples therapy can help you improve your connection with your partner. 

A Push For Independence

In a world that encourages independence, messages about how your relationship “should” be can be confusing, to say the least! For instance, maybe you’ve heard people say that “you should have yourself figured out before you get into a relationship”. Or you may have heard others say that “you shouldn’t be so codependent on others” when you wanted extra support from your loved ones. (Related article: Couples Therapy).

But, is being connected with others a bad thing? What is the line between the right amount of support and “too much”? (Related article: Secure Attachment and Emotional Safety in Couples Therapy). 

We Need Each Other

Let’s talk about connection. As a human being, you are designed to connect with others. From the time you were a baby, you sought connection and love from your caretakers (Read more about this on our blog). Even though you are now an adult and in a romantic, committed relationship, you still have a profound need to connect with others, especially your partner.

And this need for connection is not a bad thing! In fact, research shows that a happy relationship can help you live a healthier life (source). A strong connection and emotional safety with your partner can give you and your partner the environment you need to thrive. While it is important to work on improving yourself and your ability to process your emotions, connecting with others is also a critical part of living your best life. (Related article: Building Emotional Intimacy in Couples Counseling)

Looking for Connection? Couples Therapy Can Help

If you are struggling to create a connec tion with your partner, you don’t have to go it alone. Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn the skills you need to create the relationship you want. 

Ready to begin? Start relationship counseling in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, or via Telehealth for anyone in Utah.

Written by Lauren Adkins