Family Therapy Thoughts: Roles and Rules

If you’re considering family therapy, you might feel stuck. Maybe you and your parents aren’t connecting like you used to. Or maybe you can’t seem to get through a family gathering without arguing with your siblings. You can’t figure out how to address these concerns or where to even begin. 

Sound familiar? If you are going through a hard time with your family, counseling can help. Today, you will learn how family therapy works and how it can help your own family come together. Then, you will learn how to get started. 

What Makes a Family

Family therapy is a powerful tool for families like yours to reconnect and come together. And family therapy operates on some basic principles that can help you better understand how your family works… and how to get “un-stuck”. 

Family Roles

All families have a structure. Your family’s structure is unique. Think about your own family. Who is “in charge”? Is there a hierarchy? The answers to these questions will show you the structure of your family. 

Once you begin to see your family’s structure, you might also notice that each member of your family has different interactions with each other. Different combinations will react to each other differently. 

Now, you might also start to see that you and your family members fulfill larger roles in your family. Some common roles might include a “problem child” or someone who seems like “the boss”. You created your family roles over may years and through many interactions. And these roles can be healthy and useful… but they can also cause conflict and frustration. (Source)

Family Rules

Along with your family’s roles, you have also developed family rules. And most of your family rules might not be immediately obvious. They may be assumed and unsaid. These guidelines will ensure that your family maintains your “normal”. That can be a good thing!…Or yet another thing that holds you and your family members back from resolving your conflicts. 

Family rules dictate how you respond to each other. They guide you through family problem solving. And if you can revise your family rules, you can create a new opportunity for lasting change. 

Family Therapy Kickstarts Change

In family therapy, you can work with a therapist who is trained to spot these family rules and roles. But, you will not only work to identify the family rules and roles; your therapist can help you spot the things that keep you stuck. (Source)

The frustrating interactions and lack of connection you see in your family can be addressed with the help of a family counselor. As you rewrite your family roles and rules you’ll make way for newer, more functional family connection and the opportunity to finally become “un-stuck” again.

The First Step

Ready to improve your family relationships? Begin family therapy in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, Utah.

Written by Lauren Adkins