Counseling: How to Spot “Green Flags” In Your Relationship

If you have been following this counseling blog for a while, you might notice that there is a lot I could write about when it comes to “red flags” (signs that there may be a problem) in a relationship. And that makes sense. Relationships are hard! They can be messy, complicated, and difficult, too. 

But what about “green flags”? What are some things you can watch for that indicate that the relationship is headed in the right direction now, especially if you’ve been going through a hard time? 

Today, you will learn about some signs that your relationship is headed in the right direction. You will also learn how counseling can help you get better at spotting these “green flags” in your relationships. 

Conflict Can Be Productive

Maybe you and your partner have been through a really rough patch these last few years. You have each been working on things and want to improve the relationship. But how can you know if things are headed in the right direction?

It’s important to start by noting that fighting and conflict are not a sign that you and your partner are doomed! If you are having a hard time, remember that conflict does not have to be destructive. In fact, it can be transformative for you as a couple. (Related article: Marriage Counseling- Fixing How You Fight). As you work together to improve your marriage team, you can grow together, too. 

Each relationship is different and unique. And yours is no exception! However, there are some common green flags you can spot that say “hey, I think things are looking up here!”. (Source) Let’s talk about them:

1. You Are Willing to Change Yourself, Not Just Your Partner

It takes two to tango, and the same goes for dysfunction in your relationship. However, it can sometimes be a real challenge to be willing to not just point out what your partner can improve, but what you can do, too. (Related article: Marriage Counseling- Promoting Partnership). If you and your partner are each willing to acknowledge that change has to come from each of you individually, then there is hope for improvement. 

2. This Isn’t Your First Rodeo

Maybe you and your partner are struggling to resolve things and move on now. But, there may have also been a time when you did make it work. When you did work through things and overcome difficulties as a team.

 If you have overcome major obstacles before, your past experiences can be a great resource that can guide your problem solving strategies now, too. 

3. You Are Willing to Be Patient

While counseling will help your relationship, it may also make things more tense in the short term. Processing challenges together as a team can be exhausting. And changing your habits and communication approaches will take time. If you and your partner are willing to work together and be patient with each other, real change can occur. 

4. You Still Care About Your Spouse… You Just Aren’t Sure How to Fix This

If you and your partner genuinely still want this relationship to work, that is a great starting point! Your desire to be together and love for each other can help you overcome challenges, even when the going gets tough. (Related Article: Counseling Do’s and Don’ts)

Counseling Can Help You Spot the Green Flags in Your Relationships

Relationship counseling can be an invaluable tool for you and your partner to navigate challenges together. And a therapist can help you and your partner identify and utilize your strengths to make your relationship even better. Ready to get started? Begin relationship counseling in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, Utah. 

Written by Lauren Adkins