Marriage Therapy: Solving vs. Navigating Problems with Your Partner  

If you are considering relationship counseling, you’re probably also trying to solve problems in your relationship. Luckily, therapy is the perfect place to work on your most complex challenges and problems. In therapy, you can learn communication and problem solving skills that can be translated to not just your current challenges, but future struggles as well. 

But what about relationship problems that seem too complex to solve? If you are in a stalemate with your partner and struggling to move forward, does that mean things can’t be fixed? Today, you will learn more about how therapy can help you when it comes to problems that seem impossible to solve. You’ll also learn about how the process of problem solving is valuable for your relationships. 

When You’ve Hit a Wall

Have you ever had a situation with your partner where you disagreed and it seemed like nobody could “win”? These complicated issues are something you will inevitably face during the course of your time together. Maybe you can’t agree where you’d like to move. Maybe you and your spouse disagree about how many children you’d like to have. Or maybe you’re struggling to decide how to move forward in your religious practices as a family. All of these issues, and many more, are common struggles faced by couples. (Related Article: Common Marriage Problems)

But how do you fix these problems? Where can you even begin? Especially when it seems there will be no middle ground… the answer might surprise you. 

Fixing Unfixable Problems

When it comes to seemingly unsolvable issues, sometimes the solution isn’t an actual “correct answer”. When it comes to conflicts in marriage, sometimes the journey to solve the problem is even more valuable than an actual destination. 

Think of it this way. Let’s say you and your partner cannot seem to agree about the number of children you’d like to have. It seems like it’s an argument that will never end. You find yourself worrying about your relationship… can you continue on if you can’t completely agree? Especially when it comes to such a serious decision? (Related article: Promoting Partnership).

Here’s where relationship therapy comes in. Next, you decide to call a therapist and you begin the process of therapy. At first, you might believe the therapist could be an ally to your “side” who can help you finally get your way. But, as you and your spouse work with your therapist, you both find yourselves learning communication skills you didn’t realize you had been missing before. In therapy, you learn more about each other and the things you share; your dreams, goals, and values. 

The Value of Working Through

Yes, you are still working on the issue you came to therapy for- making family planning decisions. But, as you move through the process of couples therapy, you begin to see growth and progress in many other areas of your relationship, too, thanks to the things you are learning and trying. In the end, you might not leave therapy with a clear, obvious decision and all of the answers. But you will end up with tools that will help you navigate the road from here, long after your last therapy appointment. (Related article: Marriage Counseling- Fixing How You Fight). 

The mark of your success as a couple in therapy will not be a perfect, conflict free relationship. Instead, your success in therapy will look like confidence in your abilities to productively navigate the hard times without losing your connection to each other. (Related article: Effective Couples Therapy)

The First Step: Start Relationship Therapy

Struggling with a difficult relationship problem? Not sure what to do next? Couples therapy can help. Start relationship counseling in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, or Telehealth couples therapy for anyone in Utah.

Written by Lauren Adkins