Self Care & Relationships

Whoever said relationships were 50/50 was lying! Who wants to ride a bike where each tire is only filled up halfway? What about flying on a plane with two half-wings? And don’t forget about the winter gloves that only cover half of your hand. The reality is, relationships are much more successful when both  partners bring 100%. This means that each partner is fully invested in the relationship and in their own well-being. While this does not mean that each partner is perfect, it does mean that each partner continually seeks to improve themselves and the relationship. One of the main ways to make sure there is enough air in your tire is self-care. It’s the act of caring…for yourself!

Why Is Self-Care Important?

Similar to the battery on your phone, you need to take time to recharge yourself. It may be difficult to justify spending time on yourself in a busy schedule, but it will make a huge difference for everyone in your life. In fact, self-care can actually be a very selfless thing to do. When your personal battery is recharged, you can be much more present and helpful in the lives of those around you. Self-care can reduce stress from worries, fears, depression, anxiety, anger, and other uncomfortable emotions (Source). Self-care can also help you rediscover and appreciate the one person that is easiest to lose in all of your relationships–you! Making time to care for yourself is a vital part of all relationships.

How Do I Best Practice Self-Care?

What actually defines “self-care” depends on the person applying it. For some, self-care might look like getting a massage and having a spa day. Others might find self-care by going to a movie or seeing a concert. Keep in mind that the terms “self-care” and “enjoyable” often–but not always–go hand-in-hand. It may not be enjoyable to get that car repair you’ve been dreading, but doing so will take away lots of stress in the long run. Therapy, at times, can be uncomfortable as you process and work through difficulties, but it can also have positive long-term effects. Self-care can be anything that helps improve your well-being and overall health (Source).

How Can I Support My Partner With Their Self-Care?

As you read this, you might notice that you already practice good amounts of self-care and are more concerned about your partner. Maybe they work tirelessly both at work and at home. One thing to consider before you jump to helping them is, ‘Do they really need to improve their self-care?’ Maybe their job and/or what they do at home is self-care for them. Having an honest conversation with them about what they are feeling can help identify if there is any way you can help them have more opportunities for self-care. In the end, we can’t force our partner’s self-care, but we can encourage and support them while making sure our own self-care is prioritized.

Couples Therapy Is Self Care

When it comes down to it, taking care of your relationship in couples therapy is a form of self care. Begin couples therapy in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, Utah.

Written by Ryan Anstead, LAMFT

Read more from Ryan Anstead, LAMFT:
Supporting Your Partner Through Depression | Supporting Your Partner Through Anxiety
Why Choose Family Therapy? | Parenting: Understanding & Reconnecting with Your Teenager