Marriage Counseling Myths: “Couples Can’t Come Back From Infidelity”

Debunking Marriage Counseling Myths: “Couples Can’t Recover From Infidelity”

If you had to guess why most couples come to marriage counseling, what would you say? Infidelity might be one of the first answers that comes to mind. (Related Article: Causes of Divorce). And that’s understandable, considering the pain associated with infidelity in marriage. But, can couples come back from an affair? Is it possible to recover?

Today, you will learn more about infidelity and its impact on marriages. Then, you will learn more about some common reasons partners cheat, and what you can do if there is infidelity in your relationship.

Let’s Talk About Infidelity 

First off, you have probably noticed that a common theme in my blog posts is building trust in relationships. And a lot of general marriage advice is about creating a stable foundation. But, what happens when that trust is broken via an affair? 

 If you have experienced infidelity in your relationship, you are probably familiar with the associated feelings of betrayal, grief, and frustration, These feelings make sense. When you trust your partner, you put yourself out there. You are are vulnerable. Then, infidelity can make you question if your relationship is still viable. (Related article: 8 Myths About Marriage). 

It doesn’t help that you may be used to hearing many stories about how infidelity and betrayal have destroyed countless happy, healthy marriages. Sadly, that’s where the misunderstandings begin.  

Infidelity is a Symptom 

Many see infidelity as a sort of illness that plagues marriages and committed relationships. Luckily, infidelity is not the illness. Infidelity is a symptom of a larger problem. (Related Article: Relationship Problems- Contempt). 

Think of it this way. People who participate in affairs do not do so simply to hurt their partner and separate one of their most important relationships. Infidelity occurs as a result of a more systemic problem in a marriage. That might look like unmet needs. Or, a lack of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Even unmanaged stress can cause strain than lead to larger issues like an affair. Infidelity does not typically happen for infidelity’s sake. (Related article: Emotional Intimacy Through Fixing Marriage Problems). 

There Can Be Hope After Infidelity

You may have experienced infidelity in your relationship and you ultimately chose to separate from your partner. And that is a very valid, understandable response. Every situation that precedes infidelity is unique. And every reaction to those situations will be unique. (Related article: What To Do if You Are On a Path To Divorce). 

But what if there has been infidelity in your marriage, and you and your partner want to make it work? You may hear others advise you that infidelity is unfixable and irreparable, and that it will always be better to separate and move on. However, this is not always the case!

Thankfully, if you and your partner are committed to confronting the underlying cause of infidelity in your marriage, there is hope and possibility for you to recover and repair after infidelity. (Related article: Try Marriage Counseling Before Divorce). 

Need Help After Infidelity? Marriage Counseling Can Help

 If this sounds familiar and you and your partner aren’t sure where to start after infidelity, marriage counseling is for you. A couples therapist can help you and your partner know how to identify the sources of infidelity in your marriage. And they can give you practical advice that strengthens your marriage and repairs the trust between you and your partner.

And if you have separated from your partner due to infidelity, counseling can help you find comfort during this challenging time and hope in the future.

Are you ready to get started? Start marriage counseling today in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork. 

Written by Lauren Adkins