The Newlywed Phase

Beyond the Honeymoon

So, you have gotten through wedding planning. Everything went great. You even went on a relaxing and fun-filled honeymoon. Now, the real work begins! (Related article: Marriage Counseling for Newlyweds). Don’t let the idea of starting your new life together scare you. You might feel intimidated, but this phase is a time for learning and growth.

As newlyweds, you and your spouse can benefit from working on your relationship. Marriage counseling is for all couples, not just the experienced ones. Marriage is not the finish line of your relationship, and your “happily ever after” will take time (Related article: Marriage Counseling-Resilience).

Luckily, marriage and family therapists have researched couples in your same stage of life and have found that many newly married couples face similar struggles (Source: Duvall, 1988). Fortunately, this means that you are not alone. You can understand and be prepared for the challenges that are a part of this exciting phase in your marriage. Today, you will learn about two common struggles that you are likely to face as a newlywed. 

Merging Two Lives

Finally you are married! Congratulations! Now, you begin the life-long process of merging your two lives into one. Thankfully, this doesn’t mean that you won’t have boundaries or individuality. You will continue to learn about each other and decide how your goals, interests, and values fit together (Related article: Couples Therapy). Starting now, you will work to imagine and create an ideal life together.

In your marriage, this challenge might be very literal. Maybe you didn’t live together before marriage. So, you are now learning to share a home for the first time. No matter your personal situation, you will inevitably find that you and your new spouse don’t always see eye to eye. And that is normal! Trust, good communication, and respect can help you and your partner work through these new challenges.

Sharing Your Friends and Family 

Now, you have probably already thought about a common challenge for many newlyweds and seasoned married couples alike; in-laws. It is normal to encounter roadblocks when it comes to deciding how you and your spouse will spend your time. This part of the newlywed phase will be a test of your communication as a couple. This is a good time to commit to boundaries with your shared family and friends. 

For example, many newlyweds find that holidays become much more complicated after they tie the knot. Where will you go for Christmas Day? Do you travel to visit your parents or in-laws? And the process of compromise for your social lives will also apply to your friends. How do you combine your circles of friends? How do you balance your personal friendships with your social time as a couple?

These questions will have unique answers based on your partnership and situation. You will be able to navigate these questions with your spouse as your marriage develops and you experience things together (Related article: Marriage Counseling). This is where good communication skills will become very important for your new life together. If you can communicate effectively and work together as a team, you will be able to successfully find solutions for these compromises and form new traditions and marriage habits that are unique and special to your relationship.

Challenges Mean Growth for Your Marriage

Good communication skills and other relationship building tools can be an important part of navigating your new life together. But, you don’t have to go it alone! Our marriage therapists are specially trained to help you and your partner gain the skills you need to create a strong marriage and a happy life together. 

Ready to get started? Start couples therapy today in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork.

Written by Lauren Adkins