Individual Counseling for Your Life Post Divorce

If you have recently gotten divorced and are seeking individual counseling, you might feel like your entire world is turned upside down. Even the most amicable divorces come with pain, grief, and frustration, and it can be hard to understand how to process what you have been through.

Today, you will learn more about the emotional process behind divorce. You will also learn how individual counseling can help, and how to get started. 

Divorce: It’s Not Just a Legal Process

Your divorce was not exclusively legal. Your divorce has also involved pain, sadness, grief, loss, and maybe even anger and pain. It’s no wonder you might not know how to feel about all of this experience post divorce! 

In fact, the clients I work with who have been recently divorced talk about how strange it is to go through the legal side of divorce. In court, divorce seems so formal and structured, and it’s all paperwork and meetings. But, you probably experience something much more emotionally complicated every day as you wen through the legal steps of divorce. This can impact you long after the divorce has been finalized. 

Facilitating Your Emotional Divorce

So, if divorce isn’t just paperwork and legal processes, what is it? Some say that there are different kinds of divorce, including three we will focus on day: emotional divorce, financial divorce, and social or community divorce. (Source: The Stations of Divorce). The idea is that you also experience many other changes and “break ups” in different areas of your life as your divorce unfolds. 

Emotional Divorce

For example, you might be experiencing some of the emotional divorce phase as you try to go from “we” to “me” in your mindset. You are probably very used to being a part of a couple and your mind defaults to the “we”. You might find yourself instinctively trying to call your ex spouse to give them an update or think that you need to share decision making responsibilities with them like you used to. And while there is still some shared connection, the emotional divorce begins to happen when your mind shifts back into the mindset that you are a single individual person. 

Financial Divorce

You will also experience a financial divorce. You and your spouse will split your money and assets. But, you may also find that your employment circumstances change as you divorce. And financial changes, for better or worse, come with their own set of problems and complications. Which can be stressful and difficult as you acclimate

Social/Community Divorce

Finally, you will experience a social or community divorce. You and your ex spouse shared friends, family members, and acquaintances. Now, you will need to work together to figure out how social engagements with these loved ones are approached and what you consider to be appropriate boundaries now that “we” has become “me”. This divorce can be especially challenging because some friends may feel conflicted and unsure of how to approach  the situation. Holidays and traditions might be disrupted or feel odd or out of place after a divorce. This is because the people you share them with will change. 

Individual Counseling Can Guide You Through Your Divorce

All of these facets of divorce can be uniquely challenging depending on your life, circumstances, and your former marriage. That’s where individual counseling is a powerful tool for processing the challenges you are facing in a personalized and confidential way. If you need help coping with your divorce, contact us. Start individual counseling in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, or via Telehealth for anyone in Utah.

Written by Lauren Adkins