How Individual Therapy Can Help You Cope with Loss

Maybe you are seeking individual therapy to deal with loss. But you’re not grieving a death. You might have been laid off from your job, or maybe you got a divorce. Maybe you just graduated and are feeling confused and unsure of where to go next. Your children might have all left your home and you are trying to embrace your new life as an empty nester. Maybe you moved to a new city and you are feeling lonely, or you have experienced a miscarriage. 

You might not think of the word “loss” when you think of these experiences. But, learning how to cope with these life challenges and changes can look very similar to grief. Today, you will learn more about these kinds of ambiguous loss. Then, you will learn strategies to cope with these losses and how individual therapy can help. 

What is Ambiguous Loss?

These life experiences might be familiar to you. And some call these experiences “ambiguous losses”. The idea is that you may not be grieving a literal death of a loved one, but you are still grieving and coping with the loss of something. Whether it’s your job, a relationship, your home town, or many other kinds of ambiguous losses. (Related article: Coping with Ambiguous Loss). 

However, ambiguous loss can be challenging because it is exactly that- ambiguous. You didn’t have a funeral for your recent break up. People are probably not sending flowers and condolences cards for your chronic illness diagnosis. But you are still dealing with many losses and changes. For that reason, ambiguous loss can sometimes feel isolating and confusing. You might even feel embarrassed that you are struggling to cope with these life changes, which can make the experience even more challenging. (Related article: Is There a Correct Way to Grieve?)

So, what can you do to cope with these losses and care for yourself as you grieve? Let’s talk about it. 

Coping with a Non-Traditional Loss

Coping with loss will be individual to your situation and experiences. But, here are some common strategies that can help you cope:

Explore the loss and identify it. One of the most challenging parts of ambiguous loss is the fact that it might go unnamed and unexplored. A great first step you can try in your coping process is to clearly identify and describe your loss. You can try doing this in your journal. Explore how your life has changed, the pain you are experiencing, and the things you miss about your “old life” before you experienced the loss. 

Practice Embracing the “Both”. This can be especially helpful if you are experiencing ambiguous loss after an event that “should” be happy. For example, you might feel a sense of loss after moving to a new city for your big promotion at work. You think to yourself “I should be happy, I got a raise and a fancy promotion, and now I’m living in an exciting new place”. But, that kind of polarized thinking can be frustrating and painful, especially if you are feeling lonely, sad, and lost despite the positive changes. Instead, perhaps try thinking to yourself “I have a great promotion and I am in a new place AND I feel sad and lonely”. Both of those things can be true! And acknowledging those opposite ideas can help to validate yourself and your experience. (Related article: Practice Acceptance in Individual Counseling). 

Reach out to others for help. You might feel like your ambiguous loss isn’t real and doesn’t deserve support. However, the loss and pain you are experiencing thrive in isolation. Reaching out to trusted loved ones, support groups, and starting individual therapy can help you find the support and validation you need to cope with the big changes in your life.

Find Support for Ambiguous Loss in Individual Therapy

Although your loss might not be “typical”, you deserve support and help in a safe space. That’s where individual therapy can help. A therapist can help you identify, explore, validate, and understand your experiences with loss so you can learn to not just cope but thrive in your new circumstances. 

Start individual counseling in Orem, South Jordan, or Spanish Fork, or via Telehealth for anyone in Utah.

Written by Lauren Adkins