How Counseling Can Help You Identify Your Values

Your individual counseling experience will be a time of growth and discovery. As you work on your goals and process your emotions and experiences, you will learn more about who you are and the things are important to you. 

The things that motivate you and that you prioritize are also known as your values. All of us have values and things that drive us to change and do things differently. But how do you identify your values? And how can values help you live a happier life? Today, you will learn about how to identify your values and how counseling can help. 

What Are Values?

Values are the things that are important to you. You probably notice your values when you look at your life and notice recurring themes and patterns. And you might also notice your values in the things that you don’t do, too. 

For example, maybe one of your values is stability. You might notice that you tend to pursue things that are consistent and provide a good routine. And, on the flip side, you might also notice that you avoid last-minute decisions or things that feel too abrupt or spontaneous. (Related article: Coping with Difficult Feelings). Taking time to reflect and notice these values can help you see where you are motivated and the values that are important to you. 

The Benefits of a Value-Driven Life

So, why are values so important, anyway? Let’s learn more about that by looking at what a life without values looks like. Let’s say that you live a life where you don’t identify your values or pursue things that align with those values. You’ll probably still meet goals and accomplish things. However, you might find that, along the way, these wins and accomplishments feel hollow and unsatisfying, Or you might even find that it’s really hard to stay motivated towards the things you are pursuing in life. You might also feel confused and directionless. 

If you can relate to this experience, you are not alone. All of the experiences I’ve described can indicate that your goals and actions might not be in line with your values. Think of it this way: if you know your values and work to live by them, then your life can be even better than it was before. (Related Article: What Are Your Values?)

Finding Your Values

So, how exactly do you identify your values? Especially if you find that you are having a hard time noticing themes and patterns in your life that might hint at certain values. 

Here are some questions you can ask yourself that can help you uncover your values:

When was a time that you felt the happiest? Do you think back on your favorite class in college? Maybe a favorite vacation or trip comes to mind. Or maybe you think of a time when it was quiet and you had time alone to reflect. Your answers will be unique to you. The times when you felt the happiest and the most fulfilled can hint at your values. 

When have you felt pride in yourself? Think about a time when you felt proud of something you did or accomplished. Who was there with you? Where were you and what were the circumstances surrounding that event? You might think of a graduation or a big promotion at work. Or maybe you think about a time when you had a really good week and kept up with your responsibilities and felt accomplished. These feelings of pride and accomplishment can be a good sign that you were living in accordance with your values.

When did you feel the most satisfied and fulfilled with your life? Why did that experience feel so meaningful? What about the experience meant the most to you? Satisfaction and fulfillment are also a useful indicator that you are aligned with your values and in the right direction of the things that mean the most to you. 

Naming Your Values

As you ask yourself those questions, it can be helpful to look these examples of just a few potential values you might notice:

Accountability

Responsibility

Compassion

Connection

Enjoyment/Fun

Diligence

Justice

Fairness

Leadership

Generosity

Community

Faith 

Growth

Freedom

Unity

Trustworthiness

Belonging

Self-Reliance

Hard Work

Health

Determination

Keep in mind that there are no “right” or “wrong” values. You aren’t being graded on this and you don’t “fail” if you don’t have a specific, magic combination of certain values. Think of values like a sort of personality test; the information you gain here is useful because it tells you how you can accomplish the things you want and live a better life.

Counseling Can Help You Live a Value-Driven Life

If you are struggling to identify your values or you want help figuring out how to create a more value-driven life, counseling can help. In therapy, your counselor can work with you to help you identify your strengths and create goals that align with your values so you can have a happier, more satisfying life. 

Ready to get started? Contact us today to begin counseling in Orem, South Jordan, Spanish Fork, or via Telehealth anywhere in Utah. 

Written By Lauren Adkins