How to Make Counseling Work

Events or circumstances beyond your control have an important impact on changing – going to counseling can help. You and your spouse could come into therapy looking for help and expecting that therapy itself will create that change.

Did you know that therapy researchers reference events and circumstances outside of counseling as a major contributor to change? For example, while attending therapy, you could have something such as your dog dying that will impact the outcomes of treatment. If you hated your dog, you might do better in counseling because this takes a stress out of your life. If you loved your dog, then you might experience more depression to the point you slide backwards in counseling.

Either way, your dog dying will impact the outcomes of your work with a therapist. 

What To Do 

The trick is to maximize and take advantage of these events and circumstances as they happen. If something happens such as near death experience to humble you as a couple and to stop you from fighting, great! Be glad you did not die, for sure.

Also, use this experience to your advantage and embrace humility and willingness to focus on what is most important relationally. Couples will sometimes squander these events and circumstances as they happen. They can be used for good in your relationship. 

Start Counseling Today

A good counselor will help you capitalize on opportunities and work through difficulties that happen in your life. A marriage and family therapist is trained in how to do this using emotionally focused therapy for couples (by Susan Johnson) or the Gottman Method (by John Gottman).

Our marriage and family therapists use both of those scientifically based, effective methods of couples counseling here at the Center for Couples and Families. We offer counseling for individuals, families and couples. 

Find our counseling centers in Orem, South Jordan, Spanish Fork and via Telehealth in Utah.

Written by Triston Morgan, PhD